Giblets Explains It All

I, too, want my own pet Giblets.

So last night we lost Dover, Pennsylvania - but thanks to our good friends in Topeka, Kansas, an increasingly creative interpretation of the word "intelligent" still lives on! In that spirit, Giblets is proud to present, in conjunction with the Kansas Board of Education, a bold new educational theory which will one day enlighten classrooms across the nation, from the utterly foolish to the simply gullible: Intelligent History.

Conventional "theories" of history teach that "stuff happened," which is insolent and implies that we are nothing but random accidents. But Giblets has found definitive proof that history is intelligent, and has worked over the course of millenia towards one singular purpose: the creation of Giblets! Think of everything that had to happen in order for Giblets to be born! Mom Giblets and Dad Giblets had to meet, Grampa Giblets had to flee the great turducken blight back in the Old Country, Napoleon had to destabilize the Gibletsian economy with his unsound policy of weevil regulation. Yes, the birth of Giblets is so unlikely it can only be explained as the supernatural action of a nearly-divine agent acting over the course of thousands of centuries in a way that looks exactly like a bunch of random stuff!

This ingenius new theory will revolutionize the way we see history and indeed life itself! What was the cause of the American Civil War? Giblets. Why did Bismarck publish the Ems dispatch? Because of Giblets. What caused the collapse of the Weimar Republic? Political instability and economic depression which would eventually result in Giblets.

Looking back on history it becomes obvious that there has been a mysterious plan all along, and that plan has been all about me. And to think you get the honor of learning a theory I thought up myself! Congratulations, you!

Oh, Kansas. When will you stop being silly?

In other news, it's raining. The Weather Network's site says "light rain", but it lies. I got drenched on the 2-block walk from the subway to my office.

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So apparently there may be a new Ghostbusters movie in the works, maybe starring Ben Stiller. That would explain the story in 24 that I saw someone reading but couldn't make out the text of.

It occurs to me that Ghostbusters could make a really awesome musical. Hey, if they're making one out of Strunk & White, why not? Dancing ghosts! Ectoplasm! The Sta-Puft Marshmallow Man would have to be a bass, I think.

(Edit: I see others have had the same idea.)

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AAAAAAGH.

I suppose I should have foreseen the 22-page reference list. In (I think) APA style. I haaaaaate APA style. Parentheses and periods and commas and SO MUCH EXTRANEOUS CRAP I CAN'T TAKE IT, GOD! Ahem.

*sob* *whine*

Onward.

happily my family and house are around to save my sanity

or at least give me a nice feeling of schadenfreude chuckle:

Today for lunch we had not very good pizza.

Dan reports that today was "eventful to say the least."

Yesterday, he and John repaired leaking pipes--no coconuts involved. Today they turned the water back on for the pressure test. Temporary clamps holding taps popped off a bit. That fixed, they filled the pipes and checked to see that the system was starting to drip onto the roof--which it was supposed to and which it was. Then they went downstairs to hear the sound of cascading water. John had forgotten to glue one joint in the basement. On the plus side, the ShopVac is wizard at sucking up water and the basement is rather cleaner.

They're back at it now.

Cheers

Oops.

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So, question.

Random check of one of the citations reveals typos in two authors' names and the journal title.

Does this mean I have to check them ALL? Because, please no.