Commandments

[electricland]

1. Thou shalt not randomly capitalize words.
2. Thou shalt not use italics or bolding for emphasis, unless thou canst give thy copy editor a really good reason why.
3. Thou shalt not use clip art. Nay, not even though thy text useth an orchestra metaphor and thy clip art library hath an orchestra image.
4. Thou shalt not pile sub-sub-heading upon sub-heading unto the sixth heading level and beyond.
5. Thou shalt pay close attention to the rules of parallelism and balance.
6. Thou shalt not use the phrase "as well as" as a synonym for "and."
7. Thou shalt use the serial comma.
8. Thou shalt not introduce obscure vocabulary into the text without a proper explanation.
9. Thou shalt pick a font and a colour and stick to it, not because thy copy editor cannot deal easily with this, but because it pisseth her off.

And this shall be the word of the copy editor.

Anyone got any more?

Comments

[raithen.livejournal.com]

10. Thou shalt eliminate redundancy.

11. Thou shalt not write in jargon when normal English will express your message as, nay, more clearly,

12. Thou shalt not write sentences that make it sound like you work in a brothel.

13. Thou shalt be kind to your editor.

How could I forget?

[electricland.livejournal.com]

Although it is not relevant in this particular case:

14. Thou shalt respect the style guide.

Re: How could I forget?

[raithen.livejournal.com]

and:

15. Thou shalt use gender neutral language, and thou shalt do so as elegantly as possible.

16. Thou shalt NOT use "their" to refer to a singular noun in a misguided attempt to be gender neutral. Thou can either make the noun plural or thou canst use his/her.

[(Anonymous)]

Thou shalt not define your own fonts and expecteth the copy editor to change them for you.

[cretkid.livejournal.com]

shit. that was me

[lietya.livejournal.com]

Thou shalt learn the use of the comma [in general]. Yea, verily, the insertion of commas at random intervals does not qualify. (Semicolons optional; we don't want thy head to explode.)

Thou shalt not change thy mind about tenses arbitrarily.

Thou shalt include proper citation information for any externally researched facts.

Thou shalt OBEY thy copy editor!

[raithen.livejournal.com]

If though must useth of them, though shalt understand the difference between the semi-colon and the colon.

[lietya.livejournal.com]

Definitely! If thee useth a semicolon improperly, thy copy editor shall smitheth thee.

[raithen.livejournal.com]

Thou shalt also ensure that thy pronouns have clear antecedents.

[electricland.livejournal.com]

Indeed. Thou shalt make every effort to ensure that thy copy editor does not sit there scratching her head and saying "What are they TALKING about?"

[electricland.livejournal.com]

Yea, verily. Neither shalt thou make unnecessary use of the passive voice.

[electricland.livejournal.com]

neither shalt thou attempt to be clever with paragraph spacing.

[raithen.livejournal.com]

nor shalt though mess with Word's auto-formatting features. If thou must mess with auto-formatting, then thou must budget for replacing computers that hath been lobbed acrosseth the office.

[electricland.livejournal.com]

Indeed. I believe it's Occam's Formatting Tool which states that "styles shall not be multiplied unnecessarily."

[boywhocantsayno.livejournal.com]

Thou shalt not use italics or bolding for emphasis, unless thou canst give thy copy editor a really good reason why.

Question: how does one express emphasis, then? Underlining?

And how about: thou shalt correctly use "there," "their" and "they're." Also "lose" and "loose." Whilst thy copy editor is paid to know how to spell correctly, words taught in elementary school should not need to be subjected to thy copy editor's blue pencil.

[hodsthorn.livejournal.com]

10. Thou shalt only use words, phrases, and grammatical constructions which thou canst accurately define if asked.

11. Thou shalt not use British spelling conventions in a misguided attempt to appear educated; nor shall thou do so "because it looks better that way."

12. If thy commas outnumber thy periods by a factor of more than two to one in any given paragraph, thou needst to embrace the simple declarative sentence.

13. Thou shalt choose a single format, citation system, and structure for thy writing, and then stick to it.

And, of course, my Golden Rule of Writing:
14. Thou art not the hind end of Midas; not everything that you drop onto a page is gold.

Letter to the Editor

[mrs-cake.livejournal.com]

Ma'am,

it is with interest and great joy I peruse your latest, however, one of your esteemed Commandments has me scratching my head. I refer to No. 6, to wit: Thou shalt not use the phrase "as well as" as a synonym for "and." I confess to using "as well as" with great frequency in advertising copy for employment vacancies as a "sort of" synonym for "and", as in the following:

The successful applicant will have strong A,B,and C, as well as D and E skills.

This is to ensure that potential candidates are aware that they not only need skills A, B, and C but also D and E. That doesn't quite mean "and", does it? Would that be the correct usage, then? Or am I still using it wrong? And should I be saying "using it wrongly"?

I'd appreciate it if you could see your way to enlighten an aspiring copyeditor, who once again wonders whether she should sue her teachers.

Yours sincerely,

Your Friendly Neighbourhood German

Re: Letter to the Editor

[electricland.livejournal.com]

Ah. Yes. Here we have an example of "as well as" being used CORRECTLY. My complaint is with the authors' distressing tendency to say "This involves A, B, C, as well as D." Leaving me twitching and saying "Where is the 'and'? Where? WHERE?"

[electricland.livejournal.com]

Emphasis is all very well, unless you feel the need to use it in half the words on the page. Then it's just OBNOXIOUS.

Thy additional commandment is excellent, and I would add "breath" and "breathe" to the examples.

[electricland.livejournal.com]

Amen.

[electricland.livejournal.com]

(in short, that commandment could simply have been expressed as "Thou shalt not emphasize without a good reason.")

Re: Letter to the Editor

[mrs-cake.livejournal.com]

Aha! Now I see where you were coming from. That is indeed very very wrong. Very wrong. Thanks for clearing that up hon. Sometimes when I read your editorials I wonder whether I'd have the patience to copyedit full-time ...