How to make the top of Robin's head blow off:

[electricland]

Misuse the word "chemical". As in "However, its chemical structure is very different from that of sugar and sucralose is actually a chemical substance."

OK, pay close attention because I don't want to have to say this more than once (but I will if you insist). EVERYTHING IS A CHEMICAL SUBSTANCE. Water is a chemical substance. Sucrose is a chemical substance. Oxygen is a chemical substance. Everything in the universe, including such items as cinnamon, ginseng, olive oil, concrete, glass, jet fuel, organically grown coffee beans and the human body, are ALL MADE UP OF CHEMICALS.

"Chemical" does not equal "unnatural" (just as, incidentally, "natural" does not equal "good for you").

This rant brought to you by a Google search for the chemical structure of sucralose (which was in turn brought to you by a comment in food_porn to the effect that sucralose is a molecule in which all the carbon atoms are replaced by chlorine, which made me go "huh?").

Thank you for your attention.

Comments

[moonlightjoy.livejournal.com]

LOL!!!! Karyn (keyef) and I have ranted about this many times!

My mom often says to not eat something or other because it's made of chemicals. teehee!

[pariah-ink.livejournal.com]

Chlorine, eh? That's a neat trick. I wonder how you'd do that, and could you use it to clean your swimming pools?

[raithen.livejournal.com]

breathe, darlin', just breathe. It's not like they had Arwen swoop in at the Ford of Bruinen or something. *EG*

SOME of us know this, actually ;).

[mrs-cake.livejournal.com]

But...but...it makes sense, sort of, no? I do it all the time. Like when something is supposed to contain vitamins and whatnot, and you know this to be not true, what do you say, then, except "it's purely chemical"?

Feel free to shoot me...

[bryghtboy.livejournal.com]

Funny how people think natural and somewhat it seems like its a good thing. Like when talking about naturally occuring sugars in fruits or the juice thereof it often slips parents minds when they are feeding their child gallon after gallon of apple juice that it could be why the little bastards are hyper. Not that one chocolate bar they ate 11 hours earlier, though the chocolate bar probably does contain more sugar when I think about it.

Or bee venom, totally natural and still not something I want in my body. Quite happy to eat their honey but can do without the venom. I guess when you get right down to it almost anything can be dangerous though. Like the dreaded di-hydrogen monoxide, enough of it and it'll damn near kill ya...

[whimcomic.livejournal.com]

My favorite instance of "natural" is naturally-occuring ephedrin being spouted as a "SUPER natural DIET SUPPLEMENT! HEALTHY!"

[electricland.livejournal.com]

Like a nuclear-free zone -- an urban area completely free of nuclei...

[electricland.livejournal.com]

*snarls* damn unscrupulous marketers *snarls*

That's damn funny, actually. I'm waiting for someone to do the same thing with "SUPER natural digitalis! HEALTHY!"

Exactly so.

[electricland.livejournal.com]

"The dose makes the poison" -- Paracelsus.

Deadly nightshade is natural. Aconite is natural. Curare is natural. Rattlesnake venom is natural... I could go on...

[electricland.livejournal.com]

Well, "artificial" might get the job done with more precision. I know it's a habit of speech, and you "chemical" certainly means "produced by a chemist" as well as "made of chemicals". It's more the implication that natural products are NOT chemicals that I object to. What the hell else would they be?

...see rant above...

[electricland.livejournal.com]

Hmph. It's my journal and I'll rant about what I like. ;)

[electricland.livejournal.com]

It would be a neat trick, wouldn't it?

As it turns out sucralose (Splenda) is sucrose with three hydroxyl groups replaced by chlorine atoms. NOT exactly the same thing.

[whimcomic.livejournal.com]

Heh. Yes. Digitalis is from foxglove, right? Brrhg. It's sort of like saying that it's good to eat valerian by the pound, or perhaps make essence of monk's hood tea (aconite, most vicious poison).

[punmeister.livejournal.com]

Hah! My Dad doesn't like a lot of foods because they taste chemical...

[mrs-cake.livejournal.com]

Artificial it is, then. Good word. I did understand the rant, I just couldn't think of a better word, y'know. :)

[electricland.livejournal.com]

Um. Except that of course come to think of it vitamins can be artificial. Sorry. Bad, imprecise chemist! *smacks self on wrist*

Erm...

you're right. "Purely chemical" does seem to fit the bill, and doesn't raise my hackles as much as "chemical" for whatever reason.

shit, this is gonna bother me. I was going to say "inorganic" but that's equally imprecise.

*sigh* I'll keep working on this. Accurate adjective for a Jos Louis, come to me!

[mrs-cake.livejournal.com]

LOL

But you know, you've said it, there's artificial vitamins. Which is what people aim their misplaced "ugh, that's just chemical" at, really. You're supposed to go for the real thing, aren't you?

I'm staying with artificial, now. I like it. It has a nicely degrading connotation. Implications of raised eyebrows ;)