(no subject)

[electricland]

I am hereby declaring war on the passive case tense mood voice? yes, I have forgotten all my grammar terms, but I nonetheless know what I'm talking about, OK?

Fear me!

"The investigators found that there was an improvement in the ability of the artery to dilate following the 8 week period of folic acid supplementation," indeed!

Just looked it up. I was right. It's "voice." What a relief.

Comments

in defense of the passive voice

[raithen.livejournal.com]

while I agree that it makes things unnecessarily complex, and should probably be edited out here, scientists tend to use it because it places emphasis on their agency in the research, instead of on the agency of the mechanism they are studying (in this case, folic acid supplementation). I could give you a neat and tidy Burkean Rhetoric pentadic analysis to show why this choice works.... But I won't.

Suffice it to say two things:

1. The old information, the given information, is typically placed in the lead position in a sentence to help readers orient themselves before being given the new information. Here, investigators are a given, folic acid supplementation is the new thing. So the passive structure, while more unwieldy, does support the more standard given/new structure.

2. The way that the ideas are sequenced in this sentence also depends on what it is meant to focus on. Do you want to tell readers about the investigators? then put them first. Do you want to tell readers about folic acid supplementation? then put it first. Do you want to tell readers how long supplementation is needed, then put 8 weeks first. Etc etc.

And yes, I am a geek and a pedant.

Re: in defense of the passive voice

[electricland.livejournal.com]

:D

I replaced it with "After the 8-week period of folic acid supplementation, the artery’s ability to dilate improved." Which still isn't great, but at least (a) puts things in the order in which they appeared, (b) gets rid of the irrelevancies (because I'm pretty sure nobody cares about the investigators).

I might think up something cleverer today.

also

[electricland.livejournal.com]

scientists tend to use it because it places emphasis on their agency in the research, instead of on the agency of the mechanism they are studying

well, actually I have found that we/they tend to use the passive because that's how we/they were taught as wee undergrads (or even before) and that's how everyone else does it and imitation is a powerful thing... it's a tough habit to break.

But that's why they pay me, so I'm not complaining.

[lawgeekgurl.livejournal.com]

When used by me the passive voice is both energetic and persuasive!

Actually, that is my one writing flaw. Okay, my one flaw aside from the use of comma splices. And maybe my creative spelling.

[lawgeekgurl.livejournal.com]

also, I used to work for the government. The "mistakes were made" phraseology was quite useful there. :)

[raithen.livejournal.com]

see above my defense of the passive voice. And you? Writing flaws? NEVAH!!

[lawgeekgurl.livejournal.com]

a lot of puppy lawyers use passive voice reflexively, because to them it sounds more lawyerlike. they have to be broken of the habit. :)

[raithen.livejournal.com]

indeed. and you know? I am most generally WELL up to helping break them of the task. But I am no longer RABID about it. Just somewhat stern. And well, if you were to loan me your whip, then I can be that much more efficient at the task....

ask my former students. I can, be, erm, stringent.

[electricland.livejournal.com]

It's a lovely voice! In its place.

[senhor.livejournal.com]

As a professional linguist (and I say that with the utmost tongue-in-cheekedness), I find this odd aversion to the passive rather intriguing. Sure, it demotes agency, but what's wrong with that? It's a safer bet every time. :)

[electricland.livejournal.com]

Well in this case the "there was" is useless, as is the "investigators found". Also the action and the result are back to front. Also the whole thing is for a lay audience and I'm subjecting everything to the rigourous "Who the hell cares?" test. Also, it's an ugly sentence. ;)