At last... the ficathon!

[electricland]

This much we know:

Long, long ago, in a galaxy far, far away, in the last days of the old Republic, there was a young man named Anakin Skywalker. He was the apprentice of Obi-Wan Kenobi, and the bright shining hope of the Jedi, and the Force was strong with him. And for a time it seemed that he could turn the tide of chaos and disaster; but his lust for power turned him to the Dark Side, and he became Darth Vader, and the Empire arose with him. His wife the Queen fled, taking with her a secret: that she carried not one, but two children, a boy and a girl.

Versions of the story have come to us, in one form or another. We know the places and the names. Perhaps we will never know everything that came to pass. But we can imagine...

In other words:

Hear ye, hear ye! The Rewrite of the Sith Ficathon is hereby announced!

Let's get one thing straight: Star Wars, Episodes I through III, is a kick-ass story hampered by dreadful execution. Even those who enjoyed Episode III say that the acting and the script were dire, and it's hard to find anyone over the age of 8 who will speak well of I and II. While we can't do anything about the acting (except blame George Lucas), I'm taking my first plunge into fanfic to declare that something can and will be done about the script.

The challenge is simple: Rewrite a scene or story arc from any movie or movies in the Star Wars prequel trilogy so that it doesn't suck. Sign up below. If you don't feel equal to writing something but would like to see someone else have a stab at it, we're also taking requests.

The rules are simple.

RULE ONE: No midiclorions.

RULE TWO: Major plot points and locations must be preserved. However, character motivations, relationships, wardrobe, and other minor details are all fair game.

RULE THREE: No midichlorions.

RULE FOUR: If a conflict between Original Trilogy canon and Prequel arises, Original Trilogy shall prevail.

RULE FIVE: No mitichlorians.

RULE SIX: There is NO... Rule Six.

RULE SEVEN: No midiclorions.

RULE EIGHT: No original characters. There ought to be enough aliens without speaking parts lying around to satisfy anybody.

This concludes the reading of the rules. Note that bonus points will be offered for using actual lines of dialogue from the movies in such a way that they sound decent in context. Please refer your questions to the committee.

I'll also take suggestions for deadlines on this. Anybody?

*sits back and awaits developments*

Comments

[raithen.livejournal.com]

I know not what they may be, as I am a non-Star Wars girl, but I take it you do not approve of midiclorions? ;)

[elissa-carey.livejournal.com]

Let's just say that they're an idiotic explanation for how someone can innately possess the ability to manipulate the Force.

[archaica.livejournal.com]

When they showed up in Episode I, I thought, "Ahh, so they had some ridiculous Victorian-pseudo-science explanation for the Force - like 'phlogiston'."

When they were mentioned again in Episode III, I said, "Hmmm, that's not what I thought. Oh, well."

[life-on-queen.livejournal.com]

Hey, you forgot that every character shall have a father.

[redstarrobot.livejournal.com]

That fatherless thing was actually explained in EpIII. There was a father, he was just an evil bastard. Admittedly, it's an explanation that depended in midiclorians stupidity, but it was kinda neat to see Palpatine reclaim his master's evil Sithbaby. (Man, it really makes the Sith seem much more organized than the Jedi, really.)

[ide-cyan.livejournal.com]

Less bureaucracy.

[life-on-queen.livejournal.com]

Also, the force is strong with this one, she will write all sorts of crack...

[redstarrobot.livejournal.com]

Okay, sign me up for this baby.

[electricland.livejournal.com]

Excellent!

[iagofan.livejournal.com]

in other words, the sith hits the fan. i may have heard that somewhere before. maybe annakin said it.

[bantha-fodder.livejournal.com]

If a conflict between Original Trilogy canon and Prequel arises, Original Trilogy shall prevail.

Which means technically Padme isn't dead, right...?

[electricland.livejournal.com]

Whatever you can justify. ;)

[bantha-fodder.livejournal.com]

Excellent. Sign me up!

[meyerlemon.livejournal.com]

Here via redstarrobot. Um, I just rewrote the entire horrible prequel trilogy in, oh, seven paragraphs. Ahem. Where should we post? :-p

[electricland.livejournal.com]

Excellent! Welcome! Um, the timetable has yet to be established. Suggestions?

[grimorie.livejournal.com]

ooh... I'd like to try!

[electricland.livejournal.com]

Hurray! Welcome!

[jonquil.livejournal.com]

I'd like to try. I was so damned pissed at the way that pregnancy sucked all the gumption out of Padme.

[electricland.livejournal.com]

Hurray!

[voleuse.livejournal.com]

Here via thassalia. I'd love to participate! Has any timeframe been established yet, or are we just posting the stories as we get them written?

[electricland.livejournal.com]

Great! Welcome! Er, no time frame as yet. I am kind of new at this. Posting as we get them written might be a thought, but seems to lack that deadline-driven intensity. Any suggestions?

[redstarrobot.livejournal.com]

I just dropped in again to check if there was a deadline, so I'm glad to hear I didn't miss it. :) A lot of ficathons are coming due on Labor Day, so I'd suggest a couple of weeks after that. It's a long time, though, so maybe two rounds, one due sooner, one due after? It's an unusual arrangement, but I don't see why it's not an option for you.