My father the technophobe
Feb. 10th, 2006 10:27 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
electriclandMy dad continues to be anti-computer and, dare I say, proud of it. I fixed the can't-connect-to-the-Internet problem last night (turned the modem off and back on again) and sent his outgoing email, then attempted to field a series of questions that went roughly thus:
HIM: Well, why the hell does it do that?
ME: Um... I don't know... it... I just... look, it's fixed now, OK?
HIM: And why can you not see what you're sending before you send it?
ME: Huh?
(Some back and forth until I worked out he was talking about automatic line wrapping. Attempted to explain this feature.)
HIM: Well, why the hell does it do that? It's messing up my tables.
ME (thinking: um, WHY are you trying to create tables in an email?): Actually, if you want fancy formatting it's best to send it in an attachment.
HIM: Oh, sure, then whoever I send it to won't have the goddamn application to open it.
ME: Look, if they don't have Word by now there's no hope for them, OK?
HIM: All I want is to be able to send a letter. I know how to format letters. I learned 50 years ago on a manual typewriter, OK?
ME: O-kay. Whatever.
(Five minutes pass.)
HIM: And another thing. Why when you print the email does it not give you the date?
ME: Hmm... well, did you print the draft or the sent item?
HIM: I haven't DONE a draft until today.
ME: No, no, I mean did you print it before or after you sent it?
HIM: What goddamn difference does that make?
ME: See, until you send it, it counts as a draft, and it doesn't have a date stamp --
HIM (going downstairs with the recycling): That makes no sense. ALL I WANT is to see the DATE on my LETTER.
ME: But it doesn't HAVE a date until you --
HIM: I suppose Bill Gates knows better than I do what should be in a letter.
ME: YES, DADDY, THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT THE PROBLEM IS.
HIM: Oh, don't be like that.
ME: It's an EMAIL. It is not a LETTER, which means --
FRONT DOOR: *slams*
ME: *sighs and goes to bed*
HIM: Well, why the hell does it do that?
ME: Um... I don't know... it... I just... look, it's fixed now, OK?
HIM: And why can you not see what you're sending before you send it?
ME: Huh?
(Some back and forth until I worked out he was talking about automatic line wrapping. Attempted to explain this feature.)
HIM: Well, why the hell does it do that? It's messing up my tables.
ME (thinking: um, WHY are you trying to create tables in an email?): Actually, if you want fancy formatting it's best to send it in an attachment.
HIM: Oh, sure, then whoever I send it to won't have the goddamn application to open it.
ME: Look, if they don't have Word by now there's no hope for them, OK?
HIM: All I want is to be able to send a letter. I know how to format letters. I learned 50 years ago on a manual typewriter, OK?
ME: O-kay. Whatever.
(Five minutes pass.)
HIM: And another thing. Why when you print the email does it not give you the date?
ME: Hmm... well, did you print the draft or the sent item?
HIM: I haven't DONE a draft until today.
ME: No, no, I mean did you print it before or after you sent it?
HIM: What goddamn difference does that make?
ME: See, until you send it, it counts as a draft, and it doesn't have a date stamp --
HIM (going downstairs with the recycling): That makes no sense. ALL I WANT is to see the DATE on my LETTER.
ME: But it doesn't HAVE a date until you --
HIM: I suppose Bill Gates knows better than I do what should be in a letter.
ME: YES, DADDY, THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT THE PROBLEM IS.
HIM: Oh, don't be like that.
ME: It's an EMAIL. It is not a LETTER, which means --
FRONT DOOR: *slams*
ME: *sighs and goes to bed*
