My father the technophobe

[electricland]

My dad continues to be anti-computer and, dare I say, proud of it. I fixed the can't-connect-to-the-Internet problem last night (turned the modem off and back on again) and sent his outgoing email, then attempted to field a series of questions that went roughly thus:

HIM: Well, why the hell does it do that?
ME: Um... I don't know... it... I just... look, it's fixed now, OK?
HIM: And why can you not see what you're sending before you send it?
ME: Huh?
(Some back and forth until I worked out he was talking about automatic line wrapping. Attempted to explain this feature.)
HIM: Well, why the hell does it do that? It's messing up my tables.
ME (thinking: um, WHY are you trying to create tables in an email?): Actually, if you want fancy formatting it's best to send it in an attachment.
HIM: Oh, sure, then whoever I send it to won't have the goddamn application to open it.
ME: Look, if they don't have Word by now there's no hope for them, OK?
HIM: All I want is to be able to send a letter. I know how to format letters. I learned 50 years ago on a manual typewriter, OK?
ME: O-kay. Whatever.

(Five minutes pass.)

HIM: And another thing. Why when you print the email does it not give you the date?
ME: Hmm... well, did you print the draft or the sent item?
HIM: I haven't DONE a draft until today.
ME: No, no, I mean did you print it before or after you sent it?
HIM: What goddamn difference does that make?
ME: See, until you send it, it counts as a draft, and it doesn't have a date stamp --
HIM (going downstairs with the recycling): That makes no sense. ALL I WANT is to see the DATE on my LETTER.
ME: But it doesn't HAVE a date until you --
HIM: I suppose Bill Gates knows better than I do what should be in a letter.
ME: YES, DADDY, THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT THE PROBLEM IS.
HIM: Oh, don't be like that.
ME: It's an EMAIL. It is not a LETTER, which means --
FRONT DOOR: *slams*
ME: *sighs and goes to bed*

Comments

[archaica.livejournal.com]

Hehe - that sounds just like my mom, sometimes. Except it's funnier when it's your dad :)

[electricland.livejournal.com]

I'm glad my rage and frustration is amusing to someone. :P

Actually it's quite comforting to know I'm not alone here!

[archaica.livejournal.com]

Honestly, while I think I get a little overly frustrated just being *asked* to be 24-hour tech support, the out and out refusal, sometimes, to learn something new (and really, are these computer things *that* complicated, at this point?) just irks me to no end. So, I do sympathize :)

[zenrender.livejournal.com]

An entire office suite based on these sorts of conversations: Open Office.

Then his "Well I guess Bill Gates would know better than I" could quite literally turn into "Well, I guess there's a few thousand developers (and letter-writers like me) who disagree with me." Changes things a bit.

If he keeps on about the date on the email, send him one with a falsified send date (this is fairly simple to do with most non-standard email clients), like maybe from 1969 (some spammers send on this date, for some reason).

Yeah, got nothing. Just thought I'd make a quick comment as I share your pain... :)

[electricland.livejournal.com]

:D Thanks!

I somehow don't think I'll be getting into OpenOffice with him any time soon...

[kendokamel.livejournal.com]

Oh, dear!

*giggle*

Reminds me of the people who've registered for years for certain cnferences, who are upset that we've joined the 21st century with electronic registration.


Actual conversation:

Me: Well, ma'am, they upgraded our system, and so the process is just a little different than it used to be. But it's more efficient, and-
Caller: Well, YOU CHANGE IT BACK!!!!!

[electricland.livejournal.com]

You: I'll get right on that.

How maddening! I LIKE electronic registration, myself.

[(Anonymous)]

See this? This is why I can't talk to your father. At "ALL I WANT is to see the DATE on my LETTER" I would have bludgeoned him to death with a stapler or something. It wouldn't have been anything personal but anyone who hasn't mastered e-mail (and owns a computer and has Internet access and lives in the West) by 2006 needs to be culled for the psychological well-being of the herd. And, y'know, patience? Not my strong suit.

That said, if your dad has Windows 2000 or better, he should be able to send his letter with its tables from in Word. Look for a little envelope and letter icon on the left side of the toolbar.

[life-on-queen.livejournal.com]

This is me, BTW.

[electricland.livejournal.com]

I will see if he likes that option any better. Although I foresee horrendous difficulty with the implementation.

It seriously is a phobia of some kind. I'm sure of it.

[raithen.livejournal.com]

its actually really easy implementation - you can even set Outlook to just use word as it's email editor, I am 99% sure.

Or, he can, from word, go to "file>send to>mail recipient" - like magic a mail address bar will appear above his doc, and he can insert the email address or addresses, and a subject line, and hit send. Just be sure outlook is open when you do this.

[monkeycommando.livejournal.com]

Although I doubt this would work, your argument that its not a letter is the only germane one. What you can concede is that its idiotic and misleading to call the medium "e-mail".

Emails aren't letters any more than a phone call is a letter. People still receive and read letters. If he likes them so much, he can send them.

You can file this with my advice about what HTML stands for.

[electricland.livejournal.com]

:D

Good advice. And I would have conceded this quite happily, if he had actually been in the house for that part.

(I disagree with you about the "idiotic" part, although I agree that it may be slightly misleading.)

I am wondering if it's worth trying to wean him off first-line indents and/or explain that we format things differently around these parts. Probably not. Sigh.

[raithen.livejournal.com]

{{empathy}}.

But really, for both of you. Don't forget, it's a FULL paradigm shift for your Dad, and while I understand that he is being contrary, I sense that you being contrary too isn't gonna help ;)

(also, you too are so terribly much alike in some ways :D)

[electricland.livejournal.com]

Oh I know, and I do try to be patient, honestly. It's his habit of yelling at me (or at least in my general direction) when he doesn't understand something, and the REFUSAL to admit that he doesn't understand something, that gets to me.

I once gave him a computer lesson with the proviso that he was not allowed to interrupt me and start yelling if there was something that didn't make sense to him, and if he did I was going to walk away. That actually worked quite well. I find it all very stressful though.

[electricland.livejournal.com]

...also, while I know he probably doesn't mean it that way, it comes off as though everything that goes wrong/is strange/he doesn't understand is somehow my fault. This too is wearing. Look how I wound up being on Bill Gates's side up there.

[raithen.livejournal.com]

i understand, I really really do. Mom gets on these TEARS when her computer doesn't Just Work. And oy. vay.

{{hugs}}

[electricland.livejournal.com]

also, you too are so terribly much alike in some ways

THAT is all too horribly true -- much as I try to resist it.

[raithen.livejournal.com]

*hee* BELIEVE ME I KNOW! I am SOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH like my Dad, and there are days....

Oh, my poor mother...

[punmeister.livejournal.com]

Ha! That sounds like the conversation I had with my mother at the beginning of the week.

I was asked to print out a copy of minutes from meeting that she attended - which was all fairly standard text although she'd typed it up using Excel "because it's got better formatting".

When I asked where the file was located my mother looked at me like I'd asked her the strangest question ever.

Her: It's in Excel.
Me: Yeah, but where did you save the file on the drive?
Her: In Excel.
Me: Yes, I know what program you used, but files aren't actually saved inside the program, do you know which folder it's in? Is it in the My Documents folder?
Her: *sigh* If you don't want to help me I'll just find it later.

Opening Excel and looking at the recent documents did find the file, it was nested about five levels under the My Documents folder and not on purpose.

[electricland.livejournal.com]

MY DAD DOES THAT TOO! *sob* I mostly think he's got folders figured out, but then... he says something that indicates he really doesn't.

Although he does seem OK with Word.

What the hell do you say to that?

[bryghtboy.livejournal.com]

Is there a good way to handle being someone's verbal punching bag? I really just can not stand that sort of behavior! Even if you are right someone being attacked like that you feel like you lost.

Which I guess is why your Dad rubs me the wrong way every once in a while. And I would hazard a guess my distaste for that kind of thing comes from the fact my brother is the same way (though not about computers) only a whole metric tonne worse, any time that he is confused by something or feels like he is losing control of a conversation or just generally if he's pissed off he starts in with calling everything stupid and lashing out at who ever is handy verbally... did I mention my intense dislike for my own flesh and blood?

Re: What the hell do you say to that?

[electricland.livejournal.com]

*sympathy*

I do feel a bit disloyal posting things like this. Infuriating though he can be -- and I'm really sorry if he's made you uncomfortable -- he is my father and I love him and he has many wonderful qualities to offset the, er, infuriatingness. I may need to get back to gently, yet firmly, putting my foot down.

Family friction is always an extra-special pain, isn't it?

Re: What the hell do you say to that?

[bryghtboy.livejournal.com]

I haven't been really uncomfortable around him in years... not since that time he came running towards me yelling while I was up a ladder with a chainsaw. Mostly I just agreed with him and assumed that if I was supposed to be doing something else somebody would tell me while working at your house... cause really, he's a blood relation and all :)

And yeah, family friction makes me want to run far away ... like a whole province maybe even :P

[jenlev.livejournal.com]

oh my. you're brave and wonderful and i think that i really do love your father. he reminds me of my dad who died in 1987....i think that he would have responded a bit like yours did. of course this is the man who taught me how to swear and said things like: "traffuck".

*hugs*

ps. intriguing to think of how technology shifts the parent child dynamic? and gods, i just realised your dad responds just the same way my mother does. her mac is so old that it's made out of an ancient tree that fell 3000 years ago. heh.

[electricland.livejournal.com]

hee! My dad is great but, like I say, occasionally wearing. Especially as we ARE very much alike in some ways.

*hugs*

I will prevail... eventually.

[jenlev.livejournal.com]

i've decided that it's a parent's revenge to be wearing. ;) well, that's my mother's plan anyway. *g*

prevailing is half the fun. ;)