My father the technophobe

[electricland]

My dad continues to be anti-computer and, dare I say, proud of it. I fixed the can't-connect-to-the-Internet problem last night (turned the modem off and back on again) and sent his outgoing email, then attempted to field a series of questions that went roughly thus:

HIM: Well, why the hell does it do that?
ME: Um... I don't know... it... I just... look, it's fixed now, OK?
HIM: And why can you not see what you're sending before you send it?
ME: Huh?
(Some back and forth until I worked out he was talking about automatic line wrapping. Attempted to explain this feature.)
HIM: Well, why the hell does it do that? It's messing up my tables.
ME (thinking: um, WHY are you trying to create tables in an email?): Actually, if you want fancy formatting it's best to send it in an attachment.
HIM: Oh, sure, then whoever I send it to won't have the goddamn application to open it.
ME: Look, if they don't have Word by now there's no hope for them, OK?
HIM: All I want is to be able to send a letter. I know how to format letters. I learned 50 years ago on a manual typewriter, OK?
ME: O-kay. Whatever.

(Five minutes pass.)

HIM: And another thing. Why when you print the email does it not give you the date?
ME: Hmm... well, did you print the draft or the sent item?
HIM: I haven't DONE a draft until today.
ME: No, no, I mean did you print it before or after you sent it?
HIM: What goddamn difference does that make?
ME: See, until you send it, it counts as a draft, and it doesn't have a date stamp --
HIM (going downstairs with the recycling): That makes no sense. ALL I WANT is to see the DATE on my LETTER.
ME: But it doesn't HAVE a date until you --
HIM: I suppose Bill Gates knows better than I do what should be in a letter.
ME: YES, DADDY, THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT THE PROBLEM IS.
HIM: Oh, don't be like that.
ME: It's an EMAIL. It is not a LETTER, which means --
FRONT DOOR: *slams*
ME: *sighs and goes to bed*

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

See this? This is why I can't talk to your father. At "ALL I WANT is to see the DATE on my LETTER" I would have bludgeoned him to death with a stapler or something. It wouldn't have been anything personal but anyone who hasn't mastered e-mail (and owns a computer and has Internet access and lives in the West) by 2006 needs to be culled for the psychological well-being of the herd. And, y'know, patience? Not my strong suit.

That said, if your dad has Windows 2000 or better, he should be able to send his letter with its tables from in Word. Look for a little envelope and letter icon on the left side of the toolbar.

[life-on-queen.livejournal.com]

This is me, BTW.

[electricland.livejournal.com]

I will see if he likes that option any better. Although I foresee horrendous difficulty with the implementation.

It seriously is a phobia of some kind. I'm sure of it.

[raithen.livejournal.com]

its actually really easy implementation - you can even set Outlook to just use word as it's email editor, I am 99% sure.

Or, he can, from word, go to "file>send to>mail recipient" - like magic a mail address bar will appear above his doc, and he can insert the email address or addresses, and a subject line, and hit send. Just be sure outlook is open when you do this.