Dear Anthony Lane: Do you need someone to bear your children?

[electricland]

Why I love the man, part 7,439 in a series: his review of The Da Vinci Code.

The story of “The Da Vinci Code” goes like this. A dead Frenchman is found laid out on the floor of the Louvre. His final act was to carve a number of bloody markings into his own flesh, indicating, to the expert eye, that he was preparing to roll in fresh herbs and sear himself in olive oil for three minutes on each side.

Comments

If he does

[nellisir.livejournal.com]

I may volunteer. That review was dead-on for the book.

[jenlev.livejournal.com]

::::faints laughing at excerpt:::

[briasoleil.livejournal.com]

Best. Review. Ever.

I haven't even held the book in my hands, but I know it is tripe. Which is the perfect word to describe this offering by Brown. Of course, I wish he'd kept it to himself.

[mrs-cake.livejournal.com]

Get in line, honey. Did you read his take on Star Wars Episode III?

Anakin, too, is a divided figure, wrenched between his Jedi devotion to selfless duty and a lurking hunch that, if he bides his time and trashes his best friends, he may eventually get to wear a funky black mask and start breathing like a horse. [...] [He] will indeed drop the killer-monk Jedi look and become Darth Vader, the hockey goalkeeper from hell.

:)

[electricland.livejournal.com]

I see your Revenge of the Sith and raise you a First Knight (http://www.newyorker.com/online/filmfile/articles/558923C221D37543004529D5)! The longer version was better, featuring as it did a night battle that looks like an uprising in a cutlery drawer and also Arthur's odd piece of shoulder armour that looks like a pet bidet.

[mrs-cake.livejournal.com]

*chuckle* Sounds good to me! You have his children; I'll stick with John Stewart, should he ever choose to call me again. However, one for the road, from Mission Impossible III:

A team of special agents, including Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise), has flown to Berlin to rescue Agent Lindsey Farris (Keri Russell), who has been trapped and roughed up by a merciless foe. Groggy and lolling, she is in no fit state to travel, so Hunt, who likes to come prepared, whips out a syringe of adrenaline only slightly smaller than a bottle of Coors [...]

Fantastic.

Yeah, I've got nothing better to do today than to read through The New Yorker's cinema archives.

[texaslawchick.livejournal.com]

"The film is directed by Ron Howard and written by Akiva Goldsman, the master wordsmith who brought us “Batman & Robin.” I assumed that such an achievement would result in Goldsman’s being legally banned from any of the verbal professions, but, no, here he is yet again."

My favorite part.