Maureen Johnson rules my world.

[electricland]

Seriously. You think it's all ABBA and killer jellyfish, and then she smacks you upside the head with the serious. Yet still manages to be funny. I luff her so, so much.

Previously, mj weighed in on the Twilight phenomenon, and a certain variety of fan response:

I was fascinated by the Breaking Dawn discussion because it brought so many people out to talk about books. There were two comments I saw over and over again really made me go a little insane. They aren’t really about Breaking Dawn; they’re much broader. I have responded to these below, because if I didn’t, I was going to lose my mind and end up eating my own tie on television like Georgian president Mikhail Saakashvili. (Oh, BBC News. Did you really say “chews over his next move.” Really?)

ANNOYING POINT ONE: Fiction doesn’t have to make sense! It’s okay for the rules to change at any time. Fiction is just a bunch of made up stuff! Fantasy, especially, can do anything, at any time . . . because it’s really WEIRD fiction!

Yes, fiction is “made up stuff,” but in order for a story to function, it has to follow its own rules. If it doesn’t, it is BROKEN. All meaning and significance goes out the window. Fiction is not just a grab bag of random paragraphs, unconnected ideas, and cracked trains of thought. Saying that fantasy IN PARTICULAR has no rules . . . oooh. You just made a lot of fantasy writers reach for their phasers, light sabers, and sonic screwdrivers.

It gets better. Today: Bristol Palin and teen pregnancy.

The simple, plain old fact is . . . you really don’t have to get pregnant. No, REALLY. We have had the technology for MANY, MANY DECADES now to prevent pregnancy. It is not expensive. It is not hard to get. It is not hard to use. It comes in many forms. And some of it protects you from disease. Hooray! In the U.S., you can go into any drugstore and buy birth control. It’ll set you back maybe $5. That’s, like, a cheeseburger.

...

A lot of people say, “ABSTINENCE! IT IS THE ONLY WAY! THE ONLY THING TO TEACH! All of this fornication is a horrible modern thing brought on by television and video games and BOOKS!”

Har har har! GOOD ONE! I don’t know how these people missed hearing about all of human history . . . but this sex thing has been going on for a while now, and frankly, it’s probably going to continue. It’s the world’s oldest form of entertainment. We come pre-installed with all kinds of hormones and squishy bits. Maybe this will be improved upon when Human 2.0 is released, but this is what we have so far. And in general, it works pretty well. There is lots of fun and comedy value, and we get to continue as a species!

...

So we return to Bristol Palin, who is standing there with a spotlight the size of the moon shining on her, all of seventeen years old, with the entire Republican National Convention hanging on the fact that she has to have this baby she probably didn’t intend to ever be pregnant with and marry her boyfriend. She will now be saddled to this dude whether she wants to be or not. And she can’t have an abortion even if she wants one because the PRESIDENT WILL PROBABLY CALL AND YELL AT HER and three thousand news cameras would follow her.

Bristol Palin has no choices.

This is the very definition of suck.

Her posts are infrequent, but make up for it with (a) length, (b) apropos classic film stills, and (c) sheer awesome.

Comments

[pretentiousgit.livejournal.com]

Wow. I may have to read this woman's books if she writes things like that. Also, I've decided that the only explanation for these goings-on is that the GOP have decided to throw the election, leaving Obama to deal with the upcoming economic meltdown.

Double-also: Shut up, Twilight fans. Vampires are very old and have many rules and your breaking of them is pissing my teenage goth self right off.