The much-shortened public version
Dec. 16th, 2002 09:16 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
electriclandTralkish behaviour Saturday night. Have come to terms, thank you to all who helped. Here's the (slightly edited) summary:
OK, analysis. Why, and what can I do about it?
1. Alcohol, me: bad combo. Learn to recognize this. Stop earlier or don't start at all.
2. Not enough practice with the flirting thing, and more importantly, calling a halt to the flirting when it's time. "Know when to draw the line", as Labatt's put it.
3. Inability to focus the flirting. (Was not INTERESTED in this guy! In fact, was interested in someone completely different! And yet.)
4. Residual low self-esteem: "Wow, somebody I find vaguely attractive is actually interested in me! I must respond in kind!" DEFINITELY need to work on this one... especially since I'd already managed to attract the one I really want. Jeez.
5. Hazy personal boundaries. Very bad. Note to self: reread "The Good Girl's Guide to Bad Girl Sex", with special emphasis on the ethical behaviour sections. Pay attention.
OK, I'm done beating myself up now. On the positive side:
1. Nobody got hurt.
2. I'm never gonna see him again. He's from out of town! Fabulous! At least (with the exception of Mike) when I embarrass the hell out of myself like this, I do manage to keep it fairly anonymous.
3. I got N's phone number! [open idiot teenager]And have been sleeping with it under my pillow ever since.[/idiot teenager] Really hope this goes somewhere. [open random lust attack]I reeeeeally want him.[/random lust attack]
4. J and P both think it's perfectly fine and really K does too (although I did NOT obey the Code, which saith Hands Off The Guy Your Friend Likes, BAD Rob. Sorry again, K). (Or if not perfectly fine, at least not worth spending any more thought or emotional energy on.)
So that's it for the obsessing.
Happy news: Basem Boshra says "I'll see what I can do"! Fingers crossed, everyone!
Goodnight...
OK, analysis. Why, and what can I do about it?
1. Alcohol, me: bad combo. Learn to recognize this. Stop earlier or don't start at all.
2. Not enough practice with the flirting thing, and more importantly, calling a halt to the flirting when it's time. "Know when to draw the line", as Labatt's put it.
3. Inability to focus the flirting. (Was not INTERESTED in this guy! In fact, was interested in someone completely different! And yet.)
4. Residual low self-esteem: "Wow, somebody I find vaguely attractive is actually interested in me! I must respond in kind!" DEFINITELY need to work on this one... especially since I'd already managed to attract the one I really want. Jeez.
5. Hazy personal boundaries. Very bad. Note to self: reread "The Good Girl's Guide to Bad Girl Sex", with special emphasis on the ethical behaviour sections. Pay attention.
OK, I'm done beating myself up now. On the positive side:
1. Nobody got hurt.
2. I'm never gonna see him again. He's from out of town! Fabulous! At least (with the exception of Mike) when I embarrass the hell out of myself like this, I do manage to keep it fairly anonymous.
3. I got N's phone number! [open idiot teenager]And have been sleeping with it under my pillow ever since.[/idiot teenager] Really hope this goes somewhere. [open random lust attack]I reeeeeally want him.[/random lust attack]
4. J and P both think it's perfectly fine and really K does too (although I did NOT obey the Code, which saith Hands Off The Guy Your Friend Likes, BAD Rob. Sorry again, K). (Or if not perfectly fine, at least not worth spending any more thought or emotional energy on.)
So that's it for the obsessing.
Happy news: Basem Boshra says "I'll see what I can do"! Fingers crossed, everyone!
Goodnight...
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no subject
Date: 2002-12-17 10:32 am (UTC)Fuck!
Date: 2002-12-17 10:47 am (UTC)Re: Fuck!
Date: 2002-12-17 02:06 pm (UTC)And, y'know, this is like saving Farscape--if it's not fun for you, then why are you doing it. This is a little thing, right? Just try talking to him without the entire world screaming in your ear. You might find you have nothing in common. You might find out other things. But if you decide beforehand that the entire rest of your life depends on these things, I can guarantee that things will go poorly.
Relax, maybe?
K.
Re: Fuck!
Date: 2002-12-17 02:18 pm (UTC)Cute, yes, but I just do not think so. Cute and an accent aren't everything. Besides, I'm not interested, remember?
no subject
Date: 2002-12-17 02:21 pm (UTC)As for the rest, I'm like Bumbles, I bounce. It just takes me awhile to get there sometimes. Shit happens--good shit, bad shit and sometimes hits-you-like-a-runaway-freight-train shit. There was no malicious intent on anyone's part and I should have followed my first instinct and dragged you home in the first place, instead of flouncing out of the place in a temper.
Y'know I love you, right? Even if I was looking forward to cutting off your head. But if you say it's not worth committing hari-kiri over...well, then I'll just have to content myself to playing with this vodoo doll...
*snicker*
Re: Fuck!
Date: 2002-12-17 02:24 pm (UTC)I'm afraid I used up all my sainthood credits dealing charitably with my evil-bitch-from-hell boss. Sorry.
Re: Fuck!
Date: 2002-12-17 02:29 pm (UTC)Actually he said he was leaving for Ireland for Christmas, so I can email him and brush him off gently (or not).
Re: Fuck!
Date: 2002-12-17 02:33 pm (UTC)Hugs to all WOMEN concerned. The men are evil.
P.
Re: Fuck!
Date: 2002-12-17 03:05 pm (UTC)Thanks for the hugs, P... although you might want to withold a hug from Cranky's boss, because she is evil too (so I'm told, and I see no reason to doubt).
Re: Fuck!
Date: 2002-12-17 03:39 pm (UTC)Flip.