State of my health report - because I know you care deeply

[electricland]

I've decided my viruses are migratory, like a herd of stampeding wildebeest. It's the only explanation I can come up with for why the cough has stopped but I'm now completely congested: they have exhausted all the fodder in my trachea and have headed for the hills my sinuses.

That, or this whole germ theory of disease is irredeemably flawed and there's a half-inch demon running around my nasopharyngeal region and vandalizing my mucous membranes.

I bought some long-acting decongestant this morning in hopes that I won't wake up at 5 a.m. tomorrow.

Can this go away soon, please?